Wednesday, July 13, 2016

The Real Reason I Disappeared

Over the last year I have posted five reasons I disappeared from the writing world.  (If you haven't been following along, go learn more about my RID list here.)  I decided these were the top five reasons I had stopped writing and publishing, and explained what was going on behind each of them.

I stick by everything I said.

Yet as I have sat back and read over everything I wrote, I came to realize something.  While they are all a part of the reason, they aren't THE reason.  They are only pieces of a much larger puzzle.

The pieces together showed me the truth.
And I am here to say it.

I gave up.
I stopped trying.
I stopped believing.

It sounds so simple and too easy.  But it is so true.  Whether I felt too busy, too tired or beaten down or discouraged, the real reason I disappeared is I stopped letting myself see the magic in the craft.

I stopped.
Simple as that.

I never thought the RID series would open my eyes that much.  I thought I would just air my grievances and that would be that.  But it was so much more.  I saw myself.  I saw my excuses.  And I saw how easily I fell into them.

And I do not like what I saw.

So here I am today:  Refreshed. Awake.  Aware.


I am a writer.  I am a creator.  I am the master of my craft.  And there is no reason I should ever believe I am anything less than magnificent.

We have hard days.  Hard times.  We have bad reviews and horrible writing sessions and writers block and pure exhaustion.  We have jobs and families and fights and love.  We have life.  But if there is a dream you have, you should stop at nothing to achieve it.  

Do not let your excuses define you.
They are a roadblock.  You are the masterpiece.

Do not quit.
You are almost there.  You are already there.

One of my earliest memories is declaring I wanted to be an author.  It has not been an easy road.  I have quit more than I like to admit.  I am not a New York Times Bestselling author.  I am not even represented.  I have compared myself more than is healthy.  I have doubted myself and been hard on myself and been just plain lazy.

But at the end of it all...I am still a writer.
I live through my words.
And I need to stop excusing myself, and start believing in myself.

Whatever stage you are at with whatever passion you possess, never give up.  Don't you ever stop believing.  Because you can do it.  Excuses come and go.  Passion lives forever.

Let's do this together.

(Oh come knew this song was coming.)


Paula Barrows said...

Graduating from LPN school possibly as Valedictorian at the age of 54 in 8 days. Never give up.

Paula Barrows said...
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